Today, I’m going to talk about Halloween again. I know, I know. When you’re eleven or older, some people might think you’re getting too old for Halloween costumes. But man, I still want to have a life. I still want to dress up, go trick-or-treating, and enjoy Halloween. And this year, I’ve decided to dress up as a giant red dinosaur. His name is Jimmy.
I don’t think Jimmy is a particularly good name for a dinosaur that looks like it could kill you, but you know what? I’m sticking with it. The dinosaur is big, red, and honestly, kind of ugly. But the more I looked at it, the more I liked it. Sometimes ugly things become cool if you stare at them long enough. At least, that’s what happened with Jimmy.
The problem was that I started looking for a Halloween costume way too late. Tomorrow is our Halloween costume run, and I suddenly realized I didn’t have anything to wear. When people are desperate, they make desperate decisions, and desperate decisions are always good. Actually, no. That’s completely wrong. Desperate decisions are usually terrible. But somehow, this one might work out.
I immediately went on Amazon and started searching for dinosaur costumes. I looked through a ridiculous number of options until I found this giant red inflatable dinosaur. It looked pretty ugly at first, but I clicked on it anyway. Then I discovered something amazing: according to Amazon, it could arrive just two hours and eleven minutes after I ordered it. Two hours and eleven minutes! I definitely want to see if that’s actually true. I haven’t received it yet, but hopefully Jimmy will arrive before I need him.
Now, you might be wondering why I chose an inflatable dinosaur instead of a normal costume. Well, the answer is simple: air conditioning. Seriously. Have you ever been inside one of those giant inflatable costumes? When the fan is running, air is constantly blowing around inside. I’ve tried one before, and it almost feels like being inside an air-conditioned room. Okay, maybe not exactly, but you get the idea. I don’t particularly enjoy being freezing cold or ridiculously hot while trick-or-treating, so having air moving around me sounds pretty nice.
Of course, the costume is probably going to make me look completely ridiculous. Imagine a giant red dinosaur slowly walking down the street while everyone else is trying to collect candy. That’s going to be me. I’m probably going to slow down the entire group, but honestly, who wouldn’t want to be a giant inflatable dinosaur? I think it’s awesome.
My friend Con Mason is also planning our Halloween activities. And when I say planning, I mean seriously planning. He seems to be thinking about every single detail, while I’m basically just trying to figure out when I’m supposed to bring my dinosaur costume. That’s the only thing I really need to know. I even emailed my teachers about it, but considering it was 9:56 at night, I wasn’t exactly expecting an immediate response.
Another important part of Halloween is, obviously, candy. Last year, I went trick-or-treating, and it was a pretty decent experience. This year, I’m hoping to collect a good amount of candy again. Con can handle the complicated planning. I’ll just show up as Jimmy and do my best not to get stuck somewhere.
I also thought about getting one of those costumes that makes it look like you’re riding a dinosaur. You know the ones where your legs are actually inside the dinosaur, but it looks like you’re sitting on top of it? Those are pretty cool. I might get one next Halloween. But this year, I wanted a full body inflatable costume. I wanted the complete dinosaur experience.
One of the costumes I found online had an unbelievably long name. It was something like “Spooktacular Inflatable T-Rex Costume Kids Blow-Up Extra Large Dinosaur Suit Boys Girls Halloween Party Cosplay Dinosaur Hunting Ultra Pro Limited Edition.” Okay, I made up the last part, but seriously, why are these product names so long? Are they selling a dinosaur costume or writing an entire novel?
Anyway, I’m pretty excited about Jimmy. I think it would be hilarious to walk around looking like a giant monster. I could pretend to chase my friends and roar at them, although I definitely don’t want to actually frighten little kids. I just think the idea of a huge red dinosaur appearing in the middle of Halloween is funny.
But there’s another side to Halloween that I’ve been thinking about. When you look at advertisements for Halloween costumes, everything looks peaceful. There are happy kids walking around in daylight, smiling, collecting candy, and having a wonderful time. But actual trick-or-treating happens at night. It’s dark, there are people everywhere, and some costumes are genuinely terrifying.
I’ve also heard some pretty scary stories about things that supposedly happened on certain streets in previous years. I don’t know how accurate those stories are, but they made me think about safety. What if somebody tried to grab me? What if I needed to run away? I’d be inside a giant inflatable dinosaur. I’m not exactly going to be the fastest person on the street.
At first, I started thinking about bringing all kinds of things for protection, including a knife, pepper spray, and a really loud personal alarm. I even thought about my Boy Scouts knife badge. But knowing how to use a knife doesn’t automatically mean it’s safe or legal to carry one around on Halloween. And carrying something sharp inside a giant inflatable costume could actually make things more dangerous.
The biggest thing I’m worried about is the zipper. Seriously, what happens if the zipper breaks? These inflatable costumes usually have a zipper on the back, and I’m not sure I can reach it from the inside. What if I get stuck? What if the battery runs out? What if my friends think it’s funny and refuse to help me unzip it? I know that sounds paranoid, but these are actual questions I have.
I even imagined having to cut my way out of the costume. But then again, trying to use a knife while trapped inside a giant plastic dinosaur sounds like a pretty terrible idea. I’d probably end up making the situation worse. So I think the smarter plan is to test everything before Halloween, make sure I can get out with help, and have someone I trust nearby.
Maybe I’m overthinking all of this. I mean, I started out just wanting a funny Halloween costume, and somehow I ended up thinking about kidnapping, broken zippers, dead batteries, and emergency escape plans. That escalated pretty quickly.
But I guess that’s what happens when you buy a giant inflatable dinosaur at the last minute. You start with a costume, and suddenly you have an entire engineering and survival problem to solve.
Anyway, I’m still excited. I’m going to be Jimmy, the giant red dinosaur. I might walk slowly, I might look ridiculous, and I might not collect as much candy as everyone else. But at least I’ll have a pretty unforgettable Halloween.
And hopefully, Jimmy’s zipper works.
Leave a Reply